On Being a Bore
论招人讨厌的人
Robert Lynd/罗伯特·林德
The worst bores，I sometimes think，are those who love telling people the various routes from one place to another.I have never been more bored in my life than when listening to an old gentleman explaining to an old lady the several ways in which she might have come from Notting Hill Gate to Hampstead.She had complained of the time the journey had taken and immediately he was off on a long rigmarole consisting of the number of buses and the frames of streets and stations.He went on in a flat voice conducting her，as it seemed to me，through every street in west and north London.He told her of all the various places where she might have changed buses and named most of the public-houses on the way.In the end，it seemed to me，he was boring himself as well as the rest of us；but he dared not stop，I fancy，because he could think of nothing else to talk about.By the time he rose to go I was in a coma with words like Camden High Street，Prince of Wales Road and Britannia jostling each other in my brain.
我有时觉得，最招人厌烦的人就是那种喜欢跟人讲从一个地方到另一地方有多少条路好走的人。我一生中感到最厌烦的一回，是听一位老先生向一位上年纪的女人讲解，她从诺丁山门回汉普斯特德可能走的全部街道。她向他抱怨说她走的那条路太费时间。于是，他一大串的絮絮叨叨便开了头，其中包括所有的公共汽车路线、街道名和站名。接下来，他用一种平铺直叙的语调指点给她整个西部和北部伦敦的每一条路。他告诉她所有可以换车方的地名，并且还为她一一详述一路上所有的酒店名称。最后我感觉到，他好像把他自己也弄烦了，至于我们这些人就更不用说了；但他还是不敢把话停下来，想来或许因为他再没有别的什么好谈了。等到最后他起身走开时，我早已陷入昏迷状态，什么卡门敦大街、威尔士亲王路以及不列颠街等等之类街名在我的脑海中不断碰撞，乱作一团。
Another boring form of conversation is that of the man who，when talking politics，trots out all the old threadbare arguments with the air of a person using them for the first time.I have been a bore of this kind myself.As a boy I was blind enough to regard Mr.Gladstone‘s proposal of Home Rule for Ireland as both dangerous and wicked，and，whenever I met a great friend of mine who was a Home Ruler，I would drag the conversation round to the great theme.
I shouted the wildest nonsense into his ear as I walked beside him in the streets，telling him with blazing eyes of all the good England had done to Ireland and yelling all the usual musty quotations from the Pre-Home-Rule Gladstone and Sir William Harcourt.Not once did I use an original argument，for I knew none.I was merely an infuriated parrot，speaking out of the richest store of ignorance conceivable.Signs of distress on his patient face could not stop me；but one day，driven beyond endurance，he turned to me with a slight flush and said quietly，“My God，what a bore you are！”Now no one likes to be thought a bore，and it is difficult to go on arguing with a man who tells you that you are boring him.To realize that one is boring somebody is to become a pricked balloon.I certainly did.La Roche-foucauld tells us that“we can forgive those who bore us，but we cannot forgive those whom we bore，”yet，after the first moment of shock，I never liked my friend the less for his candour.Since then I must have bored many people；but outside the family circle no one has since told me that I was boring them.I have to study the expression on their faces to know...
另外一种使人厌烦的谈话方式是这样一种人的谈话方式，这种人一谈起政治来，就把所有陈词滥调全都抖搂出来，那神情活像他是第一次使用这些语句。我自己就一向是这类讨人厌烦的人。年轻的时候，我因为认识不清，曾误以为格莱斯顿先生的爱尔兰自治提案是危险和有害的，于是每次遇见我那位倡议地方自治的好朋友时，我总爱把话题扯到那个大问题上去。路上并肩走着的时候，我便往他的耳朵里塞那些荒唐的糊涂话，目光炯炯地为他讲述英国历来对爱尔兰的全部德政，并向他大声疾呼那些从自治之前的格莱斯顿以及威廉？哈考特爵士那里引来的尽人皆知的陈词滥调。我从来没有发表过一点新鲜的议论，因为我对那些一无所知。我像一只被激怒了的鹦鹉，只知道重复一大堆可以想到的愚昧无知的话语。就连他那张很有耐性的脸孔上的痛苦表情也不能让我停止。但是有一天，他实在忍无可忍，突然脸一红，冲着我冷冷来了句：“我的天，你真是个够讨厌的人。”当然，谁也不愿意被人当成讨厌的人，而对一个当面说你讨厌的人，你便很难继续再和他辩论下去了。当我们了解到自己在招人厌烦时，我们就像泄气的气球。我当时的情况就是这样。拉？罗什富科曾说过：“我们能原谅那些使我们感到厌烦的人，但不能原谅感到我们厌烦的人。”不过震动一过，我倒没有因为友人的坦率而减少了对他的友情。从那次以后我肯定还曾经招不少人厌烦过；但是除了家里人之外，倒一直还没有人向我讲过我令他们厌烦。我得认真研究别人的面部表情才能知道我是否在招他们厌烦……青春的飞逝The Flight of Youth青春的飞逝Richard Henry Stoddard/理查德·亨·斯托达德There are gains for all our losses.
There are balms for all our pain：
But when youth，the dream，departs
It takes something from our hearts，
And it never comes again.
We are stronger，and are better，
Under manhood’s sterner reign：
Still we feel that something sweet
Followed youth，with flying feet，
And will never come again.
Something beautiful is vanished，
And we sigh for it in vain；
We behold it everywhere，
On the earth，and in the air，
But it never comes again！
我们失去的一切都能得到补偿，
我们所有的痛苦都能得到安慰；
可是梦境似的青春一旦消逝，
它带走了我们心中某种美好的事物，
从此一去不复返回。
严峻的成年生活将我们驱使，
我们变得日益刚强、更臻完美；
可是依然感到某种甜美的东西，
已随着青春飞逝，
永不再返回。
美好的东西已经消失，
我们枉自为此叹息；
虽然在天地之间，
我们到处能看见青春的魅力，
可是它永不再返回！
告诉我爱的真相
Tell Me The Truth Of Love
告诉我爱的真相
Anonymous/佚名
Some say that love‘s a little boy，
And some say it’s a bird，
Some say it makes the world go round，
And some say it makes that‘s absurd，
And when I asked the man next-door，
Who looked as if he knew，
His wife got very cross indeed，
And said it wouldn’t do.
有人说爱情是个小男孩，
也有人说像只小鸟；
有人说它令世界运行，
也有人说那是荒谬。
当我去询问邻居的男子，
他仿佛对爱情了然，
而他的妻子怒火填膺，
说那并无可能。
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas
Or the ham in a temperance hotel
Does its odor remind one of llamas
Or has it a comforting smell？
Is it quickly to touch as a hedge is，
Or soft as eiderdown fluff？
is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges？
Oh tell me the truth about love.
爱情看起来像一条睡裤，
还是像无酒旅馆的火腿？
它闻起来是骆驼的气味，
还是芬芳而温馨？
它摸起来是犹如多刺的树篱。
还是柔软若鸭绒？
它的棱角是凌厉还是光滑？
哦，告诉我爱情的真相吧。
When it comes，will it come without warningJust as I‘m picking my nose？
Will its knock on my door in he morning，Or tread in he bus on my toes？
Will it come like a change in the weatherWill its greeting be courteous or rough？
Will it alter my life altogether？
Oh tell me the truth about love
爱情的来临是否悄无预告，
像我挖鼻子那样吗？
它是否会在早晨敲响我的门，
还是会给我一脚踩到公共汽车里？
它的到来会不会像季候的变化？
它的问候是谦恭抑或粗鲁？
它会让我的生活天翻地覆吗？
哦，告诉我爱情的真相吧。（未完待续）
